It's Thursday of finals week. I have a critique at 1:00 today where I have to present my final project for 2D design. Then it's time to pack/study for my myth final tomorrow.
I had a weird experience on Tuesday. I took my English 3200-Intro to Brit Lit final and came home, $31 in my pocket after selling my books. I checked my email where a housing offer from Lancaster was waiting for me. I got the college I wanted: County College (http://county.lusu.co.uk/). It has the English department in it and there is a huge old tree in their quad. It was my first choice so naturally I was very excited. Well, I was going to accept the offer when I saw the cost of it. I freaked out. I couldn't remember what I had allotted for housing in my financial aid planning. Everything turned out okay; I'm 90% sure I'm going to be fine money wise but for about five minutes, I had a slight heart attack. After that fiasco, with three unsuccessful attempts to talk to my family to help me off the ledge, I realized I am going to be leaving the country in three weeks. Shit. I cried for ten minutes. It was insane. My roommates were busy, one was in her room, the other was taking a shower. I know why I cried; it's because I'm afraid but I just felt so weird. I should be happy about getting County College. I mean, I am totally happy. I still feel completely unprepared for leaving.
I guess it's good that I finally cried but I still feel like the really big cry, the one I keep feeling building up in my chest, is yet to come.
P.S. check out Black Mountain (www.myspace.com/blackmountain). They're pretty amazing, even if they are from Canada. :)
1 comment:
Try not to worry so much. I know you hate flying, and i know you're worried about being away from home for so long, but this is a great adventure for you. You'll pull through just fine. Haven't we dreamed of this since we were children?! Now you're experiencing it and I will be living vicariously through your blogs, so keep them up. I am gonna miss you, but I miss you all the time anyway... this will be great, don't fret. Your finals are almost over and then you can hang out with me! haha, God knows I need it right now more than ever... or at least, more than a while. I love you so much missy! (glad you started blogging too, but can you keep up with MY novels?) ha
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